The Opposite Of Fear

Every painting I make is evidence that fear can be conquered. ​

You might think that a person who's been calling her painting workshops "Fearless" for over a decade has got fear all figured out. Think again!

I call my workshops "Fearless" precisely as a reminder to myself to feel the fear and do it anyways. For me, making art and sharing it is vulnerable - Especially when it's the kind of art I pull from the depths of my soul. To photograph it, attach a price tag to it, and display it for public consumption, feels like I'm riding an extreme rollercoaster. Scary!

So why do it? Why put myself out there like that? 

When I reached my personal rock bottom in 2007, I directed all of my hopes and energy into creating a life that felt authentic to me. I quit a toxic relationship of 10-years, a soul crushing job at a law firm, moved Provinces, and aligned myself with becoming a full-time, professional artist. This did not mean that everything became easy after that. On the contrary, there were/are many hurdles and challenges to overcome. Most of my self-doubt stems from latent feelings of fear. Thoughts like "Who do I think I am?", "This isn't good enough.", "No one will want to buy this.",  "You can't teach this.", and "You're an impostor." are all feelings I make a consistent effort to transform into faith, positive movement and action. 

Lately I have been revising the idea of hosting a painting retreat in Costa Rica at Imiloa. It's been a dream of mine for years! Right on queue, those thoughts of fear and doubt begin to stir inside of me like an inevitable tsunami. I feel afraid to move forward, but I remind myself that fear does not always have my best interest at heart. Just like driving stick shift, I imagine changing gears as I focus on feelings of trust, surrender, excitement, enthusiasm, peace, gratitude and joy. In order to create a better future, I am convinced we must begin with ourselves. Today, I am taking a mentor's advice and sharing my dream with others. ​​