Return to the Big Island: Navigating Past Heartbreak

I am gripped with conflicting emotions as I contemplate my upcoming visit to the Big Island of Hawaii  - my first in 5 years. It's a bit akin to encountering an ex-lover. We once shared a life, intertwining our existence with moments of intimacy and dreams of a shared future. However, our union abruptly came to an end when Kilauea volcano erupted in 2018.

As I prepare to revisit the Big Island, I ponder what the reunion will be like. I don't expect it to have yearned for my presence or understood the depth of my connection to its allure. The abrupt ending left me heartbroken, and I question how I will navigate this return. While I am eager to submerge myself in its vibrant waters and inhale the humid, flower-infused air of the ocean, I am determined not to surrender blindly to its enchantment. There's a palpable hesitation within me, a reluctance to open myself to love once more.

I consider the challenge of remaining open-hearted and retaining a sense of wonder and childlike naivety in a world fraught with difficulties. How does one avoid becoming jaded and closed, immune to the beauty and wonder of each passing moment?
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Reflecting on our past, I acknowledge that I may have treated you as if you existed solely to fulfill my needs. In hindsight, I wish I had been more attuned to your needs, offering greater service to our relationship. Perhaps this oversight contributed to our parting ways. Hawai'i, I extend my forgiveness to you. Can you find it in yourself to forgive me?

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